Paul Gallagher goes back to school to learn how to focus his mind - and enjoy himself - the next time he does battle in the monthly medal.
It was time to dig out the old school satchel, with notepad and pencil at the ready, and spend an evening with two of the latest gurus who have come to impart their knowledge of the mental side of golf here in Ireland.
The company Trained Brain, with help from two leading Irish PGA professionals, say they can help golfers of all standards to realise their full potential and improve their game.
It must be said that, up to now, this particular golfer has always been sceptical about the benefits of letting people tamper with this already convoluted mind. But sure, what harm could it do? So we went along to see what all the fuss was about. After all, the former world number one and Masters champion Ian Woosnam, among others, leans on the services of these people.
Jamie Edwards, managing director of Trained Brain, and Dr Karl Morris, consultant to the PGA of Britain and Europe, invited us to a hotel in Belfast (at a cost of £35) and kept our attention for two-and-a-half hours in one of the workshops they ran recently in Ireland. Two of their sidekicks and biggest advocates, Damian Mooney (Laganview Golf Centre) and Maurice Kelly (director of golf at Belvoir Park GC), were on hand to assist.
First, the two experts identified four categories of golfers - from the beginner who has an untrained swing and untrained brain, to someone such as Tiger Woods who is the ultimate player, with a trained swing and trained brain. Most of us mere mortals fit in somewhere in the middle. Some will have poor technique but a good golf brain to make up for it; others with sound natural ability are let down all too often by a deficient mental approach on the course.
Morris argued that time spent playing a round of golf is broken down into just 15 per cent playing the actual shots, while the other 85 per cent makes up the rest of the experience. In other words, that crucial 15 per cent needs to be spent more wisely if golfers are to maximise their potential. That, combined with positive body language and focusing on the good shots rather than dwelling on the bad ones, will improve anyone's game, whatever their standard.
Morris and Edwards then set about providing their audience with the "tools" to help each individual channel the positive thoughts for the next time they set about trying to win a monthly medal.
However, when they expanded on a number of bullet-points from the oversized flip-chart, or got us all to close our eyes and imagine the good shots, then carry out a number of breathing exercises, this column thought: now we're deep into that brainwashing session we had initially feared. The only hope was that there were no hidden cameras in the conference room recording the latest cull of suckers.
But, to be fair to the experts, it all seemed to make sense when they illustrated the point by making reference to the grisly Colin Montgomerie and the phenomenal success he enjoyed at last year's Ryder Cup compared to his lack of form since then.
"Take Monty as an example. We don't believe he has taken charge of his mental attitude and body language when competing, and yet, unconsciously, at the Belfry he was a completely different golfer," suggested Edwards, referring to the highest points-scorer of either team, with four-and-a-half points from a possible five. In fact, the burly Scot was like the brigadier leading his troops out to battle and someone who, for a change, looked to be enjoying himself.
Edwards went on to compare Monty's on-course demeanour on tour before and since the Ryder Cup: "But now, while back out on tour, he's back to his old, negative pattern. Consciously, he doesn't seem to be aware that, if he feels good, it will also improve his performance, whereas during the Ryder Cup he portrayed an aura of invincibility, capable of beating any opponent."
A case in point came several weeks ago at the British Masters when the seven-time European Order of Merit winner got involved with an unfortunate photographer who clicked at the wrong time. The gurus believe incidents such as this, where Monty brandished a club at the unfortunate snapper, waste too much energy and focus on the peripheral, less important matters when attention should be directed to the task in hand at the crucial shot-making time.
The psychological experts offered a simplified summary to the evening so that the intellectually challenged, such as ourselves, could grasp what they'd been preaching.
"It's all about creating a positive state of mind within yourself," explained Morris. "If you can control this - and this applies to all aspects of life, not just sports like golf - then you start to see the benefits."
The fear of hypnosis once more.
Still, Edwards and Morris argue passionately that enjoyment, learning and performance are all interlinked when tackling any golf course.
"Take Tiger, the best golfer in the world: he still expects to learn something new about himself and his game every time he competes," added Morris, suggesting that if Woods still has scope to learn and improve, then so should the rest of us.
The guru has become an integral part of a golfer's make-up and tournament preparation at the top level in recent years. That includes Darren Clarke, who might be looked on as an underachiever considering his wealth of natural talent. The big Ulsterman obviously thought so too, because earlier in the year he called on the services of sports psychologist Bob Rotella to help raise his game.
Since then, Clarke claims to have been striking the ball as well as at any point in his career. The letdown, however, has been his inability to hole the putts.
Belgian Jos Vanstiphout, who has also worked with Clarke, is another guru who follows the leading tours around the world to be on hand when certain professionals require a mental pit-stop. The former rock star (with the Mayfair Set) became instant hot property after Retief Goosen won the US Open in 2001.
Vanstiphout was given much credit for his intervention with the player, just as he was with another South African, Ernie Els, when he won the British Open in a high-pressured, four-way play-off at Muirfield last year. Vanstiphout was also on hand to assist the winning European Ryder Cup team last September.
Closer to home, Mooney has noticed a considerable difference to his approach when competing on the Irish PGA circuit since working with Morris and Edwards. Already a prolific winner on the Irish scene, Mooney said: "Since getting involved with the lads in February, I have been making better decisions on the course and scoring better because of that."
Mooney won the opening event of the year at Bundoran in April, and recently secured the Irish Club Championship title at Tulfarris GC. These wins were the highlights among five other top-five finishes - three as runner-up - with more than half the season still to play. Mooney also intends to go back to the qualifying school at the end of the season in a bid to test himself on the European Tour.
After all was said and done, though, it remains to be seen how tangible the improvements will be for the assembled class the next time they take to the course. But the message was clear: when on the golf course, keep your thoughts clear and positive, don't get your mind tangled up with too many swing thoughts and, just as importantly, enjoy the experience. So now I'm off to put theory into practice, with notepad in hand, naturally.