Robert Kitsonargues that the England team needs to lighten up as Brian Ashton is set to take over
So here we go again: new head coach, more rearranging of management chairs, more great expectations. Never let it be said that English rugby union stands idly by in times of crisis. For a national coach job security applies only to the people who employ you and every high-profile tracksuit has a toxic lining.
This time, though, everyone acknowledges that the job of stitching together the remnants of English rugby's shredded pride is beyond one man's scope. Brian Ashton, set to be anointed at today's Rugby Football Union management board meeting, is 60 years old and has spent a lifetime coaxing the best out of players of all ages. He is good, very good, but this is the biggest challenge of even his lengthy career.
It is not simply a case of stopping the on-field rot. England have lost eight of their last nine Tests, yet more alarming still has been the emergence of fault lines beyond the familiar issues of selection or injuries. "Things have to change
. . . everything is on the table and nothing is sacred," said the RFU chairman, Martyn Thomas, yesterday.
One senior member of England's coaching staff even revealed last week he did not believe certain players actually enjoyed playing for their country. "The first thing we need to do is identify the ones who really want it and are there for the right reasons. If they're not hungry, they shouldn't be there," he said.
It was hardly a surprise to hear the last fortnight of Andy Robinson's regime was particularly grim but the same coach also wondered aloud if modern English professional players were too wrapped up in individual concerns. "They should socialise together more, it's definitely something we need to encourage" was his fascinating solution. Frankly the days of drinking five pints, putting your arms round your team-mates' shoulders at closing time and swearing undying devotion are over. Then again no side succeeds consistently without a genuine sense of kinship.
Ask anyone involved with Munster, Leicester or Wasps, the three outstanding British and Irish sides of modern times.
There were occasional tiffs but the 2003 World Cup-winning side mostly relished each other's company.
Contrast that with the regime of Robinson, whose sense of humour was often less easy to discern. True, he had no shortage of reasons to frown. But he also failed to appreciate the obvious: the treadmill of club rugby makes it all the more vital that the national team environment is a positive one. On one of their few cherished training days at Loughborough University this season the squad could be seen back in the gym, pounding weights rather than opening blinkered minds. No wonder on-field initiative was in short supply.
Ashton's role will also be augmented by a manager figure, someone with an intimate knowledge of what is required in the build-up to major games. As of yesterday morning Harlequins were still insisting they had received no formal approach for their director of rugby, Dean Richards, but his name keeps cropping up on the RFU bush telegraph. A delayed appointment will hardly reassure those in situ. "What happens to us if a new bloke wants his own people?" asked one of the current management team.
Time, though, is pressing. England are scheduled to announce their preliminary Six Nations squad at the start of January. In six weeks a team has to be named to face Scotland and the meandering debate on the structure of the English game will be submerged again by raw-edged reality. All fudges must be resisted and a fresh course plotted.
Given a transfusion of new ideas, it is not impossible that confidence will return and England will become a team of blood brothers again.
Inevitably, though, it will take time. As Ashton frequently stresses, he does not have a magic wand and Ireland, Wales and France are loitering with intent. England need to forget about the grey days, lighten up, get smarter and reinvent themselves.
