Listen, for the sake of your sanity when you make transfers, just forget about the fellas you sacked and concentrate on your new recruits. What's done is done, forget the past, look to the future, and all that.

We make this plea because we have learnt in recent weeks that there are managers out there who not only keep spreadsheets tracking the form of their current line-ups, they also have ones calculating how they would have done if they hadn't sacked Olazabal, Duval and Love from teams 11, 23 and 37 in weeks two, three and four. Ye'll drive yourselves mad, you know.

The other thing to remember is that we're not trained counsellors here, so other than offering a comforting "ye eejit, if you'd left your team alone you'd be in Mount Juliet by now", we can't do much more to help ease your pain. So dealing with Aonghus Mulvihill wasn't easy for us this week. This resident of Ashbourne, Co Meath, rang the help-line on Tuesday asking what the winning score was in week eight. "Just under £360,000," he was told. "Pheeeeew," said Aonghus. "I fired Sandelin, McGinley and Furyk (first, second and second last weekend) from Colaiste Eoin - I called the team after my school - 'cos they were doing terrible and if I hadn't fired them I would have won £340,000 this week and I was afraid that would have won a four-ball, but even if it hadn't it would have got me on the leader-board for the first time. Ever." (It would too. Colaiste Eoin would have appeared in third place). What age are you Aonghus? "Twelve. No! I'm 13 - it was my birthday last Saturday." What a way to start your teenage years, eh?

Happy to report, though, Aonghus has another team in the top 2,000 and another "hoping to come last - Ait Dearnach". "They're doing really well - they're in the bottom 50," he told us. A polo shirt and a belated happy birthday to Aonghus.