If you're fond of attacking football and have a liking for goal-mouth action then Anfield's the place for you in the next few months - if we are to believe sundry reports in last week's English press then Liverpool's attack will be made up of Pierre Van Hooijdonk, Muzzy Izzet, Roberto Baggio, Fabrizio Ravanelli, Eidur Gudjohnsen, Jari Litmanen and Marco Negri (not to mention Michael Owen, Robbie Fowler and Titi Camara) in the not so distant future.
If Gerard Houllier has another 20 odd million pounds to spare he might even add Ruud van Nistelrooy to his 10-pronged attack (spare a thought for goalkeeper Sander Westerveld - busy times ahead), but he'll have to compete with every large-ish club in Europe for the much-sought-after PSV Eindhoven striker.
More rumours: Matt Holland (Ipswich to Spurs), Alan Mahon (Tranmere to Celtic), Mario Jardel (Porto to Leeds), Simone Inzaghi (Lazio to Arsenal), Rati Alexidze (Dynamo Tbilisi to Chelsea), Emmanuel Petit (Arsenal to Atletico Madrid), Eric Cantona (dodgy acting career to Fulham, as manager), Darren Anderton, Dida, Fernando Couto, Rivaldo, Roberto Carlos and Gabriel Batistuta (from Spurs, Corinthians, Lazio, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Fiorentina to Manchester United, respectively).