World Cup TV View: Feelings, naturally enough, run high after bitter disappointment, but still, we felt somebody should have pulled aside that very, very angry England fan leaving the stadium in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday and had a quiet word.

Having located the Sky News camera, he suggested, quite colourfully, that Sven knew nothing about football and, while furiously jabbing his forefinger in the direction of us startled viewers, insisted that he should be sacked. "Err, no need," someone should surely have told him. It might even have cheered him up.

So, Sven and Nancy are gone (unless Niall Quinn persuades them to take over at Sunderland) and, in an address to the nation, David Beckham announced he was handing the captain's armband over to any one daft enough to take it. You'd imagine Theo Walcott would accept the honour, if it meant he'd get to play some football.

It had all started so optimistically, too.

"I just believe that we, whatever way we play, should beat Portugal quite comfortably, I'm quite confident about that," Ian Wright had told us, a view echoed by Billo over on RTÉ, who reckoned it was "inconceivable that England would be beaten today".

This provocation riled Gilesie so much he sat up straight in his chair ("With respect Bill, how could it be inconceivable?"), while Brady and Dunphy were so exasperated they could hardly get the words out.

Only Graeme offered Bill any support, adding that the panel had no interest in bashing England because "English football's been very kind to the four of us."

"Not to me," giggled Dunphy.

"Three out of four ain't bad," said Gilesie, very nearly quoting Meat Loaf. "You took the words right out of my mouth," we wished Brady had said.

"There's been various criticisms of this team along the way, the time has come for a big performance," said Gary Lineker on the BBC. Alas, we never really got it, but how could you with Wrightie in the line-up?

"I'm just 'ere crapping meself, wondering what he's gonna do 'alf-time," he said of his concern about Sven's inclination to tinker, leaving his fellow panellists staring at the floor, where they'd been staring since a Ricky Gervais sketch featuring a dwarf prompted Wrightie to declare: "I don't know what it is about little people like that, I just love 'em man."

Franz Beckenbauer had tried to warn the BBC panel that there could be trouble ahead ("You don't underestimate Portugal, they have a wery, wery good team"), but Wrightie just wouldn't listen ("We are better than 'em, I don't care what no one says").

Just time for a quick Garth Crooks interview with Wayne Rooney, who agreed it was a day for keeping a cool head, paying a nice tribute to his clubmate Ronaldo. "We'll have to keep a close eye on him and keep him quiet on the day," he said. Hmm, not quiet enough, as it proved.

By half-time Mystic Wrightie was fretting over the isolated Rooney. "I'm worried for him, now he's gonna start getting frustrated and you're talking about bookings, it's a nightmare," he said.

On RTÉ, Dunphy suggested Sven take Joe Cole off and "put him in the bath", while admitting that his worst nightmare was that "Sir David will score from a free-kick".

"Where is Beckham," Brady asked, having forgotten the captain was on the pitch.

Second half. Off Beckham hobbled, and then Rooney was involved in a skirmish. Motty Motson was perplexed when the referee went to his pocket. And then burst Lawro Lawrenson's ear drums when he noted that: "IT'S REEEEEEDDDDDD!!".

"BOTH OF THEM ARE," Ricardo Carvalho would have told Motty, if he'd been able to speak.

"He has sort of stood on him a little bit," said Alan Shearer, "but."

No buts, though, he reckoned Rooney should "stick one" on Ronaldo if they ever meet up in the north west of England again. "And I'll stick a second," said a Dutch striker watching in his Manchester home.

Extra time. Penalties loomed, so Motty took it as an opportunity to remind his viewers of every English player who'd ever missed a penalty in a shoot-out. "Gee, thanks Motty," said the viewers when he completed the list half an hour later.

Penalties, then. You know yourself. Motty's list grew longer.

"I suspect you'll sleep easier tonight now that Sven's going," said Bill.

"I will, Bill," said Phil. Sorry, Gilesie. "They were one of the worst teams in the competition," he said, wishing them a safe journey home.

Dunphy declared the "soap opera over", before joining in on a round of applause for the departing Souness, who told us he was related to Dickie Rock. Spit on me Sounie.

And France v Brazil? Expectorate on all of us Zinedine, we're simply not worthy.