CRICKET/SECOND TEST: YUVRAJ SINGH enlivened the dreariest day of England's tour of India with half-an-hour's strokeplay on the field and then stepped up his attack off it as he responded cheerily to Kevin Pietersen's rubbishing of him as a "pie-chucker" among Test bowlers and a purveyor of "left-arm filth".
India, protecting a 1-0 lead in the series, held a virtually unassailable advantage at the end of the fourth day, 285 runs ahead with six wickets left, which allowed Yuvraj to indulge in some knockabout stuff at Pietersen's expense. "I read in the paper that he called me a pie-chucker and I thought, 'What does that mean?'," he said.
"It shows that KP hates getting out to me. I'm such a useless bowler that he has got out to me five times now, so he must be a useless batter. He is a phenomenal cricketer and he has batted like a champion in Mohali.
"He tried to get under my skin and it brought out the best in me. I tried to get under his skin and it brought out the best in him. We are trying to play for our country. It's good competition and sometimes it backfires."
Yuvraj believes he has been picked out for special attention from England ever since he struck six sixes from a Stuart Broad over in the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup in South Africa last year. England are also regretting the retirement of Sourav Ganguly, the Prince of Calcutta and the previous butt of their humour, and Yuvraj, who is not without hubris and who surely must soon be anointed the Prince of the Punjab, is seen as a natural claimant to the throne.
He has dismissed Pietersen twice on this India tour, and was quick to draw attention to the fact he had also claimed his wicket three times before. "He plays so much cricket that he is bound to get out to someone," he said. "I enjoy watching him bat, but if he wants tips on his bowling I will give him some tips. I've got a better action than he has. His action is useless."
It was all inconsequential, good-humoured jousting, but any light relief was welcome. Barely a day has passed in Mohali without a prominent member of the International Cricket Council calling a press conference to talk of the primacy of Test cricket, but days like this are not about to save it.
Pitches that fail to deteriorate to keep television rights holders content are one of the main culprits. The Pakistani umpire, Asad Rauf, had a bit of a knock-up on the outfield at the close of play and it should have made the highlights package.
There was fog in the morning, strokeless Indian batting in the afternoon and some enterprise from Yuvraj in the final hour, which left him 39 not out from 40 balls, with the oft-suffering Monty Panesar driven for four first ball and later lofted into the crowd at midwicket.
When Pietersen signalled from mid-off for Panesar to get loose at third man, his desultory warm-up routine was as unenthusiastic as a schoolboy forced into a compulsory gym session. He disappeared at five runs an over, the rest of England's attack at two.
The fog that blanketed the ground for much of the morning is predicted to hang around for a couple of days yet. A scattering of England supporters are harbouring fears about delayed flights from Delhi, missed connections in the Middle East and peeved relatives as they fail to get home for Christmas Day. They could do worse than try to leave early, as India will be intent upon killing the game on the final day and then killing it again.
For England, it was hard to subdue the sense of what might have been. Five minutes before stumps on the third day, Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff were ensconced and England still had six wickets to whittle away India's lead of 173. Then it all came to a juddering halt.
The loss of the captain and Flintoff the previous evening set the tone for a pre-lunch collapse. England's lower order surrendered meekly on a morning reduced to one hour. The last six wickets disappeared for 22 in 13 overs as Harbhajan's off-spin had a resurgence.
India, granted a first-innings lead of 151, far more than they had reason to expect, chose to sit on it, not speculating to accumulate as much as hiding it under the mattress. The pitch was still sound, and they rattled 23 off James Anderson's first three overs, but then dawdled through the afternoon session, adding only 47.
Clearly, an Indian side that musters only 47 in a session does not have Virender Sehwag at the crease for long - he misjudged a push to mid-off and was run out by Ian Bell, who rushed in, diving athletically to demolish all three stumps. It was one of Bell's few bright moments on a disappointing Indian tour. His fiercest critics, however, would only have cheered up if he had impaled himself in the process.
Rahul Dravid played 18 successive dot balls from Anderson and, from his 19th, fell for nought as Broad bowled him off a slight under-edge. When Sachin Tendulkar sliced Anderson to gully and Flintoff's pick-up from cover ran out VVS Laxman at the wicketkeeper's end, India were four down for 80. But Gautam Gambhir blocked for nearly four hours for 44 to underpin their innings.
Guardian Service
India first innings 453 all out (G. Gambhir 179, R. Dravid 136)
ENGLAND first innings
(overnight 282-6)
A Strauss lbw b Zaheer 0
A Cook lbw b Zaheer 50
I Bell b Ishant 1
K Pietersen lbw b Harbhajan 144
P Collingwood c Dhoni b Mishra 11
A Flintoff c Gambhir b Mishra 62
J Anderson not out 8
M Prior c Dhoni b Harbhajan 2
S Broad b Harbhajan 1
G Swann b Zaheer 3
M Panesar c Gambhir b Harbhajan 5
Extras: (b-1 lb-7 w-1 nb-6) 15
Total (all out, 83.5 overs) 302
Fall of wickets: 1-0 2-1 3-104 4-131 5-280 6-282 7-285 8-290 9-293
Bowling: Zaheer 21-3-76-3 (w-1), Ishant 12-0-55-1, Yuvraj 6-1-20-0, Harbhajan 20.5-2-68-4, Mishra 24-0-75-2.
INDIA second innings
G Gambhir not out 44
V Sehwag run out 17
R Dravid b Broad 0
S Tendulkar c Swann b Anderson 5
V Laxman run out 15
Y Singh not out 39
Extras: (b-4 lb-3 w-5 nb-2) 14
Total: (four wickets, 50 overs) 134
Fall of wickets: 1-30 2-36 3-44 4-80
Bowling: (to date) Anderson 15-8-32-1, Broad 11-2-22-1 (w-3), Flintoff 9-1-16-0 (nb-2), Swann 8-2-20-0, Panesar 7-0-37-0
