In my younger years, I could take or leave kitchens. The only appliances that got any kind of strenuous workout in my homes were the kettle and microwave (I wasn’t much of a cook).
In fact, for several years, I lived without a proper one, in a London bedsit. The two-ring Baby Belling was perched precariously over a sink, the fridge something to squeeze past in the tiny hallway. No matter, I thought at the time. It was all very charming, in a Withnail & I sort of way. Besides, I lived right over a Thai takeaway. What did I need a third cooker ring for?
Yet something has changed recently. Where before an impressive kitchen barely turned my head, now I’ve begun walking into the kitchens of family members and friends and feeling a pang of envy. I covet glossy islands, quirky, mismatched chairs, baby-pink Magimixes and coffee machines, and all kinds of retro designs.
I have a relative with a country house kitchen, the size of my entire ground floor, with an Aga and views over the Donegal sea. I have a friend who keeps her delicious collection of antique glassware in a beautiful cabinet, inviting visitors to choose a glass before offering wine. There's the couple whose kitchen table seats 12 people comfortably; perfect for big gatherings. There are the family friends in the newly built house, with a kitchen so kitted out that it makes cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards look like a doddle.
And lastly, there’s the friend who managed to unearth that most divine of junkyard finds – a mint-green dinette set with an authentic Formica table.
Quartz worktops
And I’m not alone in my covetousness. According to a new survey by kitchen experts The Panelling Centre, 80 per cent of Irish people are unhappy with their current kitchen and 94 per cent are jealous of a friend or family member’s kitchen. So envious are we of other’s people’s quartz worktops and solid wood doors, that over three-quarters of those polled (78 per cent) resolved to revamp their own kitchen after visiting a friend or family member’s house. Eight per cent admit to changing their kitchen within months of their visit, while 10 per cent say their kitchen got a makeover the following year.
A cookery show-worthy kitchen is the ultimate in status symbols
Pinterest is their number one source for kitchen inspiration among those questioned, with 29 per cent admitting to logging on and pinning their favourite designs. And when respondents were asked what features they would like to include in their dream kitchen, an island was the top choice (75 per cent), followed by a pull-out larder (49 per cent) and an American-style fridge freezer (46 per cent).
There’s a very good reason that kitchen envy exists, and that we don’t necessarily get the same green-eyed feelings from, say, sittingrooms or bathrooms. At a time when property obsession is reaching new highs, a cookery show-worthy kitchen is the ultimate in status symbols.
Smeg appliance
No one goes wild at the sight of a self-cleaning toilet or Sliderobe in quite the same way they do at the sight of a brand new, boldly coloured Smeg appliance. A well-appointed kitchen says much more about its owners: that they like to entertain; that they are foodies; that they like to spend time together as a family; that they have a keen eye for design; that they are all-round domestic deities. The kitchen is not just a place to make breakfast; it’s an extension of our personalities, our bank balances and our tastes. It’s a sure-fire sign that we have come a long, long way from the two-ring Baby Belling. That maybe we could be as domestically agile as Nigella or Jamie, who have gizmos and gadgets coming out their ears.
Research shows that we spend more time in our kitchen than in any part of our home. It stands to reason, so, that it's become the focal point of any property. And in Irish homes in particular – and this could well be the Dermot Bannon effect – the kitchen has widened out to an open-plan living space where everything, from cooking and socialising to homework and TV-watching, now happens. Not for nothing does everyone end up in the kitchen at parties.
My own kitchen is small but perfectly formed, and gets the job done. I can have four people sit around the Ikea kitchen table. Two of us can prepare a dinner without getting in each other's way too much. Save for a hardworking Nutribullet, there are no great "statement pieces" in there; no islands, no ice dispensers, no Smegs.
But the fridge works. The cooker works. The sink works. And it’s a damn sight better than the cramped, magnolia apartment galley kitchens of my younger years, where space was such an issue that we were forced to eat whatever microwaveable bilge we threw together off our laps on the apartment-standard black leather sofa. If that’s not coming up in the world a little, I don’t know what is.